The Things We Do for Love: My Past Wife Experience

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Our twin flame burned bright. We’re talking supernova bright. We lit up the world around us — and everyone who came into our orbit — as we joy bombed our way through a life we lived on 11. We were going to infinity and beyond, baby! Ours was a love that was meant to be forever.

And then, 10 years ago, after a long, slow, disheartening burnout that I was powerless to reverse, I left the world of Barbarella behind, exiting this rocket ship of a relationship and ending a 15-year journey that I’d poured my whole soul into. An epic adventure that featured the greatest joys and the deepest sorrows. No one was more surprised than we were when I chose an escape pod and began my descent back down to earth.

So what the hell happened?

Leave It to Beaver Meets Girls Gone Wild

Well, right from the very start, we were an unlikely pair, the very definition of opposites attract. He was raised by international jet setters and grew up partying in Ibiza, dancing in foam. I was your typical good girl raised by parents who bore a striking resemblance to Ward and June Cleaver and made us go to church by subway every Sunday without fail. Our version of a hot Saturday night was going to Al Buon Gusto, our local family-style Italian, for New York pizza. The only foam I experienced as a girl was Mr Bubble.

I was raised to be the perfect wife. But when I met my match, it was like I got a golden ticket on a starship headed to a galaxy far far away, one that bore no resemblance to my life growing up nor to the one I had prepared for. My mother raised me for Leave It to Beaver and I went and married into Girls Gone Wild in Outer Space.

Classical Training Meets Modern Love

My domestic training started early on. Some of my first memories are of my mother teaching me how to cook, sew, iron, and clean. Oh how we Greers love (sometimes live) to clean! I was so good at it, my family took to calling me the white tornado in honor of the classic commercial and my magical ability to transform domestic chaos into order. My mother was so pleased with my performance, she paid me to clean my sister’s room, a fact that really pissed my sister off when she found out about it years…