The Monetization of Me
— Maya Angelou
I’ve been sitting with — really struggling with — this piece for over a week now.
Sitting with a LOT of discomfort around the topic of monetization.
And even greater discomfort around the idea of monetizing myself. Monetizing my soul’s calling.
This discomfort has only increased as I’ve witnessed the world taking “greed is good” to a whole other level. One that threatens the very fabric of our society and the future of our planet.
Add to that witnessing others on so called spiritual paths falling into egoic self-absorption/promotion at best and at worst, soul-sucking narcissism — with those well-intentioned but sadly less than clear channels for healing and transformation falling somewhere in between — and I’m sipping from a potent cocktail of discomfort, self-doubt and extreme resistance.
Ugh and yuck!
And, as I’ve said before, I’m committed to sharing this journey with as much authenticity and transparency as possible. Giving voice to both the darkness and the light I experience along the way.
As I write this, I’m noticing and wanting to name that the words aren’t flowing with the joy or ease of my recent pieces.
I also know that there’s value in speaking truth to what is, in being with all that is in ourselves and in giving voice to all aspects of our journeys so that others feel safe in doing the same.
I hope that by sharing this with you, it will help me to bring light and lightness of being to a topic that fills me with darkness and show you the value and give you the courage to try this yourselves.
I was raised on the East Coast and am what you would call a WASP. We weren’t old money rich by any means but we were relatively privileged and my siblings and I enjoyed amazing private schools, powerful professional and social networks and other opportunities unavailable to others.
WASPs don’t talk about money. Probably because if you come from a family where you’ve always had it, your name defines you and the wealth and status are implied. Those who did talk about it were viewed with disdain as nouveaux riche, self-promoting hustlers who lacked the refinement, grooming and good taste that separated old money from new.
As I said, we certainly were neither old money nor rich but I was raised not to talk about money and to be super uncomfortable asking for or receiving it.
My parents — especially my mother had a strange, rather fraught relationship with money.
My family took the whole noblesse oblige, being-of-service thing very seriously and thankfully, in a non-elitist and non-condescending way. And I feel blessed to have been raised to believe that we are all here to be of service to others and to leave things better than we found them.
It is in that spirit that I am sharing my journey with you.
I was also raised to believe that a life of service was one that was unpaid. A duty. Service to others given freely and selflessly without limits in a tireless, never-ending stream.
As you may have read in my previous pieces, the whole giving selflessly without limits thing didn’t work out well as a life strategy for my mother.
She gave without the expectation of receiving, felt deeply uncomfortable being compensated for any of her good works in the world (including good works that qualified as actual work!).
This slowly drained herself of her own life force and starved the beautiful, abundantly generous soul that she was until it extinguished her joy, her light and her very life.
I have done my best to learn from her example. To do my work to be as clear and clean a channel as I can be as I embrace my calling as a transformation agent and catalyst for helping others to find joy within.
And this means putting my own oxygen mask on first — which to me means taking care of myself as I work to be of service to others.
It means committing to a deep, lifelong journey of curious self-exploration. Tending to my own garden and cleaning up the messes on my inner aisle twelve— so that I can relate to and sit with others doing the inner work required to discover and manifest their own hero or heroine’s journeys.
It means taking care of myself and accepting that giving without receiving is unhealthy and unsustainable.
It means getting over my aversion to being paid for the unique value I bring to the world.
I’m a firm believer in the whole “do what you love and the money will follow” concept.”
And I’m also one who believes that money cannot buy joy and that the pursuit of wealth often steals it from us.
I’m walking this line as best as I can, doing what I love in a financially sustainable way while not letting monetization steal my joy or taint the purity of my heart or soul, the energetic sources of the work I do.
What I am called to be and to do in the world by necessity involves monetizing what I normally be and do freely in the world because of who I am and the gifts the universe has blessed me with.
And while this feels SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE and goes against all my familial modeling and wiring, it’s necessary.
What this is going to mean is that I will be offering online classes and workshops, group and 1:1 coaching, hosted experiences at the Compound of Joy, a podcast and more over the coming months.
I will be creating an ecosystem of offerings that I hope will allow anyone who resonates with this—regardless of means, life stage or geographic location — to engage with me and join the ever-expanding, contagiously and courageously vulnerable Joy Collective of heart-led beings that I am building to receive the witnessing, encouragement, support and community needed as you do your inner work, find what lights you up and manifest that shit!
So today, I am choosing joy in the face of extreme discomfort.
I am choosing to joyfully, humbly, authentically and with as much integrity and self-awareness as possible create ways to monetize me. Creating fuel for the joy engine that is the start up of me so that it keeps running for as long as I am blessed to breathe.
I hope you’ll continue to follow me on this journey.
To keep me honest and give me the motivation to continue when it gets hard—because it does and it always will!
To share your experiences — your struggles and your joy.
To come together to find kindred spirits and to feel less alone.
Because in the end, it’s not about me. It’s about WE!
If this post resonates with you, you can connect with me on Medium, Instagram, and LinkedIn or visit my site to learn more about Contagious Vulnerability and book time with me.
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