Shadow Boxing

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver

My path of self-discovery has taken me to some pretty dark places these past few weeks — and if you’re just tuning in now and want to know more, you can read “Motivational Dogfooding”, “Postcards from the Chrysalis” and “I surrender…”.

I’ve been doing deep shadow work — a term I honestly didn’t really understand until now — journeying to the center of my being to discover and shine light on my core wounds. All the while chronicling the experience week by week and sharing it with the world as it’s unfolding. A project I call Contagious Vulnerability.

As many of you have noticed, it’s been a real struggle lately. One that has left me in a raw and emotionally vulnerable state.

A state which is super uncomfortable for me because it doesn’t fit with my ego ideal at all. I’ve always been the strong one. The light in the darkness. Joy personified.

The past week has been especially challenging. I felt like I’d fallen into a deep, dark hole. A hole I wasn’t sure how to get out of.

I felt lost and overwhelmed. Like I’d completely dismantled my psyche and wasn’t sure how to put the pieces back together again.

I reached a point in my heroine’s journey of self-discovery where I could finally see and deeply feel my core wounds but wasn’t sure what to do with this awareness.